Him

An entire post dedicated to someone I swear I was over. But then even as I blocked him I knew I was only kidding myself. I saw him again today. After. A Year. I saw him in flesh and it was a catastrophe of emotions that ripped my heart. Firstly it was extreme trepidation and happiness combined with a dash of excitement- “omg it’s him”my heart sang . And I saw him Coolly casually walking across the road and my heart stopped. He was still handsome in that rugged way ,but he was no longer mine. Here was the subject of so many of my prayers, my curses,my poems and my anger , here he was walking so cooly across the road after having ripped my heart out into pieces. A great feeling of sadness threatened to overempower me. I was going to cry again over this boy . But thankfully I didnt. This was followed by anger. So this boy was alive and well and yet he dint have a second , just a second, not even a minute to reply back to me , to ask me how I was over phone , over the millions of communication types known to man. I was hurt again. Here was this man who was the subject of so many of my late night thoughts , of my extreme pain and sadness , of my so many unanswered questions, my Googled entries.Maybe know that I saw him again I would finally be over him. But no Haha. Who am I kidding. ? It will take years more for love that deep to pass. It’s just sad that he doesn’t know about it yet.

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