A open letter to my depression 

Welcome. Again. I thought those happy pills my therapist gave me finally made you leave but of course you’re stubborn and you didn’t. I didn’t feel like moving today , it was one of those days where I plastered a fake smile on my face trying to ignore the cracking of my soul inside , I didn’t feel like breathing. I thought it would be that day where I would finally give up but no, you ,dear depression, you made me live still and die simultaneously. Little by little  I cut off my ties with the rest of the world and tried to leave my brain chemicals to do what it does best : fill me with recurrent thoughts of self harm. I am tired and fatigued with the constant repetitive thoughts and the sadness hanging over me like a cloud and the feelings of worthlessness. Exhausted with not being understood. You make me feel like I’m drowning on land when people around me are breathing. 

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